This morning I babysat a friend's little boy while she went to the doctor. Her little boy and my youngest son played together just fine and it was easy breezy.
My son asked "Where's Lisa?"
Usually she's here with her son and we all hang out. I answered that we were babysitting her little guy while she was at the doctor.
My son, said, "Oh." His face looked worried.
"What does a doctor do?" I asked, hoping for an answer like, they help you or make you better.
"They hurt my mouth," he answered with a quiet voice--staring into the the space in front of him.
My son has had so much surgery. His most recent one closed his cleft palate. It was rough.
I told him that the doctor had fixed the hole in the roof of his mouth and had helped him. My little boy looked unconvinced. He hates hospitals--they are torture chambers to him.
There are so many things in my life that have been painful or difficult. Things that broke my heart or challenged me beyond what I thought I could handle. But as I look back with new perspective I can see a purpose to it. I have seen good come of it.
The hardest things I have gone through have made me stronger. If nothing else they have given me more understanding and compassion for others who struggle with similar trials. And even more, they increase my confidence as I overcome them--less fear of small things because I survived bigger ones.It makes me more aware of when things are good. Gratitude.
As I center myself and look back on things I honestly would not change what I have gained. Even if it meant sparing myself grief. I think one of my deepest concerns is that I will become complacent, or shallow or --perish the thought--clueless. So I would rather go through hard things than float, pass through the refiner's fire to make me stronger.
* Have you ever suffered through something that made you a better person? Share!
Comments
I lost my mother, three days later was told my husband had terminal brain cancer, within 2 months he too had left me, I can't describe how I felt my children had all flown the nest and apart from my cat I had no-one. felt totally alone for the first time in my life.
It took many years of reading self help books but I can honestly say I feel a better person, I don't grieve my losses but celelbrate their lives.
Take care.
Yvonne.
Your post, as always, is filled with wisdom and compassion, Roland
I think it takes a while to find the good in some of the most terrible things. About 14 years ago, my father died suddenly and I got divorced and, though terribly painful, I learned a lot about myself and about life and went off in a whole new direction because of it.
I can't say I am glad any of that happened, but I did my best to take what I could from it.
Thanks Jo
I feel the same way about my struggles. I hope that they make me better......if nothing else, more compassionate. I'm so glad that the operation gave him words, but how heartbreaking that he still remembers all the pain.