This morning I babysat a friend's little boy while she went to the doctor. Her little boy and my youngest son played together just fine and it was easy breezy.
My son asked "Where's Lisa?"
Usually she's here with her son and we all hang out. I answered that we were babysitting her little guy while she was at the doctor.
My son, said, "Oh." His face looked worried.
"What does a doctor do?" I asked, hoping for an answer like, they help you or make you better.
"They hurt my mouth," he answered with a quiet voice--staring into the the space in front of him.
My son has had so much surgery. His most recent one closed his cleft palate. It was rough.
I told him that the doctor had fixed the hole in the roof of his mouth and had helped him. My little boy looked unconvinced. He hates hospitals--they are torture chambers to him.
It made me think.
There are so many things in my life that have been painful or difficult. Things that broke my heart or challenged me beyond what I thought I could handle. But as I look back with new perspective I can see a purpose to it. I have seen good come of it.
The hardest things I have gone through have made me stronger. If nothing else they have given me more understanding and compassion for others who struggle with similar trials. And even more, they increase my confidence as I overcome them--less fear of small things because I survived bigger ones.It makes me more aware of when things are good. Gratitude.
As I center myself and look back on things I honestly would not change what I have gained. Even if it meant sparing myself grief. I think one of my deepest concerns is that I will become complacent, or shallow or --perish the thought--clueless. So I would rather go through hard things than float, pass through the refiner's fire to make me stronger.
The operation on my boy gave him speech. Now he has words. Much like my struggles have given me words... understanding. Some day, I know my little boy will look back and realize that some of the things that hurt him most, did him the best good. And that's great to know.
* Have you ever suffered through something that made you a better person? Share!
Healthy, happy, and empowered mama...with a black belt in taekwondo.
I grew up in a big family in the Bay Area of California, attended college at BYU London, England and stateside. Then married my filmmaker/artist husband and have three sons who also love the arts. Creativity abounds in this house!
I'm a proud member of Writers Cubed and Co-Founder of the super cool and successful Teen Author Boot Camp. When I'm not doing my own writing I keep busy taking classes at BYU!
Life is good. (=