tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2056617300824158534.post1323915234942725831..comments2023-10-29T08:09:01.825-07:00Comments on Shoveling in a Jo Storm: "Lets Talk" BlogfestJo Schafferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11514820971898568397noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2056617300824158534.post-73301975472458629982010-05-19T16:28:06.471-07:002010-05-19T16:28:06.471-07:00Finally, I get to read something of yours! Yay! ...Finally, I get to read something of yours! Yay! Ah, teen angst, feelings, drama, mis-communications. You captured it very well in this piece!!!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15571580500398324403noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2056617300824158534.post-45755767138338876412010-05-19T07:26:50.453-07:002010-05-19T07:26:50.453-07:00Some beautiful writing here and a touching story. ...Some beautiful writing here and a touching story. Their dialogue was so real as they held back, afraid to let the other in. Wonderful.Tricia J. O'Brienhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05993110400088806252noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2056617300824158534.post-28189290963074442262010-05-19T07:11:27.884-07:002010-05-19T07:11:27.884-07:00Poor Karma! And Steven...can't he get a clue! ...Poor Karma! And Steven...can't he get a clue! Or is he afraid she's too young to mess with?<br /><br />I love your descriptions. And I'm intrigued by the female lead's name. Where does it come from?mary.anne.gruen@gmail.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16839396134411360643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2056617300824158534.post-64728896137501693152010-05-19T01:51:43.483-07:002010-05-19T01:51:43.483-07:00You had some beautiful lines in there. I really en...You had some beautiful lines in there. I really enjoyed it.<br /><br />Thanks for sharing!Jadehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02444920778218867295noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2056617300824158534.post-33723599855384269642010-05-18T23:13:21.811-07:002010-05-18T23:13:21.811-07:00This section didn't even allude to any of the ...This section didn't even allude to any of the "karma" part of the story, and yet people are sucked in. Very good! :) Readers, there is so much more than meets the eye. You're gonna love this book!Heidi Jarvishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00481748295486131906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2056617300824158534.post-37788041216173777032010-05-18T21:35:58.743-07:002010-05-18T21:35:58.743-07:00Love the name Karma. You captured her feelings so...Love the name Karma. You captured her feelings so beautifully. Got a bit confused as to whether he was wearing the t-shirt or she was lol. Great back and forth conversation - flowed really well.WritersBlockNZhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13666986327836276744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2056617300824158534.post-4416001991401274572010-05-18T20:40:16.175-07:002010-05-18T20:40:16.175-07:00This reads beautifully. The dialogue is pretty, an...This reads beautifully. The dialogue is pretty, and sad. I really like the name-Karma. And many lines as mentioned in previous comments. And "her heart felt like it leaked hot liquid." A burning heart. Very, very good!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2056617300824158534.post-71326738906916296162010-05-18T19:51:28.699-07:002010-05-18T19:51:28.699-07:00Good example of how we sometimes "shoot ourse...Good example of how we sometimes "shoot ourselves in the foot" when we are too afraid to be honest with each other about how we feel. Love, momKathleen and Stephan Seablehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15469437265943819666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2056617300824158534.post-44306015854334221792010-05-18T19:13:26.873-07:002010-05-18T19:13:26.873-07:00Oh, so sad. Poignant. And great teen angst.
A sto...Oh, so sad. Poignant. And great teen angst.<br /><br />A story I'd love to read. I need answers ;)Tarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09008153523366719973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2056617300824158534.post-23910956605400975492010-05-18T17:59:00.854-07:002010-05-18T17:59:00.854-07:00Totally dug it Jojo! You go girl!Totally dug it Jojo! You go girl!jorobabyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00204847299231297146noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2056617300824158534.post-90269423079632612252010-05-18T17:44:04.819-07:002010-05-18T17:44:04.819-07:00I'm feelin' the love. Thanks for stopping ...I'm feelin' the love. Thanks for stopping by my blog.Jo Schafferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11514820971898568397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2056617300824158534.post-59718286746456646782010-05-18T17:39:59.002-07:002010-05-18T17:39:59.002-07:00Powerful. You've captured the young emotions v...Powerful. You've captured the young emotions very well :)Jemi Fraserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02214408467456320167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2056617300824158534.post-50592775817468341822010-05-18T14:12:38.774-07:002010-05-18T14:12:38.774-07:00Your entry is awesome, and I really, really want t...Your entry is awesome, and I really, really want to know why she is leaving. Very intriguing.The Urban Cowboyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01274811305312666931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2056617300824158534.post-65712725698001146462010-05-18T14:08:16.308-07:002010-05-18T14:08:16.308-07:00Oh, that's so sad. I really feel her emotion. ...Oh, that's so sad. I really feel her emotion. It's so well written! It definitely makes me want to know more about these two.Susan Fieldshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02433408456603462774noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2056617300824158534.post-50151801135923591882010-05-18T13:29:15.863-07:002010-05-18T13:29:15.863-07:00That's got some lovely emotion in it.That's got some lovely emotion in it.Victoria Dixonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14012092208934951963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2056617300824158534.post-40425072440246473592010-05-18T12:48:17.601-07:002010-05-18T12:48:17.601-07:00Great feedback everyone! Thanks!!Great feedback everyone! Thanks!!Jo Schafferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11514820971898568397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2056617300824158534.post-59441072788549707072010-05-18T12:05:22.104-07:002010-05-18T12:05:22.104-07:00Ooh, mysterious! I wanna know why she's leavi...Ooh, mysterious! I wanna know why she's leaving. What did Daniel do? Steven went to Prom with her and now he's with some other chick??? What a jerk! I bet it's a misunderstanding. Sneaking to her in the middle of the night? Definitely not brotherly. Heh, heh, I want to read more obviously...Angela McCallisterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10610798614001745001noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2056617300824158534.post-15821130135768694992010-05-18T12:01:59.031-07:002010-05-18T12:01:59.031-07:00neat blog! I'll come back to read more.neat blog! I'll come back to read more.The Damsel In Dis Dresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05208040949986947201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2056617300824158534.post-42881557173590704792010-05-18T10:59:37.801-07:002010-05-18T10:59:37.801-07:00A couple of your lines really jumped out at me:
&...A couple of your lines really jumped out at me:<br /><br />"Looking at him was heavenly and sad at the same time." <br /><br />"the light held his face with transparent hands"<br /><br />Beautiful... and it matches the sadness of this conversation very well. Even without having any background, I could tell pretty easily what's going on and maybe even guess some other things.<br /><br />One suggestion: cut back on a few of the dialogue tags. since it's only two people conversing, no need to tag every line, it's easy to know which one is talking.<br /><br />And the nickname, Featherhead, that was interesting - makes me wonder how that nickname came about!Margo Berendsenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03476308235642890474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2056617300824158534.post-4817326876141516132010-05-18T10:49:29.621-07:002010-05-18T10:49:29.621-07:00Love it!!! I also appreciated Roland's commen...Love it!!! I also appreciated Roland's comment above, I never thought of it that way. To wonder what God and the angels think as they hear us totally miss the point, whether through insecurity or selfishness or miss-communication...<br /><br />Fun section to read, I love Karma!Mark and Kisshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11836571187934420347noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2056617300824158534.post-5356209801360667932010-05-18T10:35:12.131-07:002010-05-18T10:35:12.131-07:00I'm really impressed at your ability to "...I'm really impressed at your ability to "show, not tell." And I agree with Kristen about how natural the dialogue is.Will Burkehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10158149526658590324noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2056617300824158534.post-21658083811229598072010-05-18T09:53:31.932-07:002010-05-18T09:53:31.932-07:00Nice job. That was so poignant. Even without any b...Nice job. That was so poignant. Even without any background on the characters, I could feel what they were feeling.Angiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01445455787485222068noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2056617300824158534.post-74220026844491446232010-05-18T09:44:22.158-07:002010-05-18T09:44:22.158-07:00I'm so intrigued by Karma. I wish I could rea...I'm so intrigued by Karma. I wish I could read more.<br /><br />Thanks for posting this. <br /><br />PatriciaPatricia A. Timms-McGeheehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08989800584001861716noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2056617300824158534.post-62370632682253265312010-05-18T09:06:45.649-07:002010-05-18T09:06:45.649-07:00Most enjoyable, it was so interesting to read.
Ha...Most enjoyable, it was so interesting to read.<br /><br />Have a good day.<br /><br />Yvonne.RHYTHM AND RHYMEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11386975261804630799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2056617300824158534.post-81592999575431338762010-05-18T09:03:20.219-07:002010-05-18T09:03:20.219-07:00As always, brilliant. It is so interesting looking...As always, brilliant. It is so interesting looking at a piece of writing away from the whole. You picked a great section. :-)Write Chickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10688559534731990798noreply@blogger.com